"He tags me in memes" and other signs you’re reading too much into it

January 17, 2017
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Last week the BBC set up a dedicated branch of IT and Communications specialists to debunk fake news stories entering the media, calling it the Permanent Reality Check team. While stopping Russian hacking is important, I feel as though the BBC team’s efforts will be wasted because when it comes to creating false realities, Russian hackers have nothing on us girls. When a cute guy is involved, our imaginations can sometimes get the better of us and what we really need is a Permanent Reality Check. So until the BBC comes knocking, I’m here to deliver it.

“Yeah things are pretty serious... We have a five day snap streak.”

I remember when I was in Year 8 I thought sexting was just when you stayed up all night talking to guy on MSN. Suffice to say, my interpretation of social media norms hasn’t developed much since. I recently found myself convinced that a guy was into me because he tagged me in a lot of memes. And then there was the guy that liked all my Instagram posts and watched all my snap stories. It’s especially easy to fall into a lull of false reality when you’ve hooked up before. You know that there was some attraction there so he must be keen, right?

If you’re dealing with an Expert Flirt, it’s not as easy to check yo’self before you wreck yo’self either. One of the most difficult traps to fall into is the Compliment Cover-Up. You say “I miss you a little bit” and he says “Aw you big cutie!” He called you cute! But where is the reciprocal affection? If he missed you too, there is no reason for him to avoid saying it. It’s not as if he should be shy – you said it first after all.

Don’t let memes be dreams

If this sounds familiar the blanket answer is: No, he’s not into you. If anything he does takes less than 10 seconds to perform, it’s not a good sign. Liking your photos, or tagging you in a picture from Dank memes melt steal beams etc. is not flirting nor is it a romantic gesture that deserves any of your attention. If he was interested, he would make sure you’d know it by having a conversation or asking you out for coffee. He also wouldn’t divert your attention with compliments.

“He’s probably just busy…I know uni is crazy for him at the moment.”

While you’re busy reading too much into his Facebook activity, you’re also ignoring the signs you should be reading. If he’s posting, tagging and snapchatting but can’t even reply to you it’s a red flag. Or maybe he replies, uses lots of compliments, but you’re always initiating the conversation. These are the realities we ignore for our own self-preservation. It’s a tough pill to swallow but the sooner we acknowledge it, the better.

A really helpful way to look at it is by replacing the term "Too busy to…" with "Doesn’t prioritise". If he is too busy to grab dinner together because he wastes his whole day posting memes it means that he prioritises that higher than he prioritises you. No matter how dank the meme, it is no excuse.

There’s a great song that says “I’m not playing hard to get, I just don’t really care”, and that’s the perfect sentiment to embrace. Don’t reply to tags or send direct snaps. You’re strong, independent and deserve something way more meme-ingful anyway.

Danica Lamb

Danica is a Laws Masters kid at UWA. She enjoys cheap coffee and 80s pop music.

Image: He's Just Not That Into You official Facebook page