You’re not a real adult until you do these seven things

June 09, 2017
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You probably hear the word “adulting” thrown a lot around these days. But when do you become an adult? When you turn 18? When you start uni? When you move out of home? If you’re feeling a bit lost on the matter, we’ve created a (completely arbitrary) checklist on what makes you a “real” adult.*

*Disclaimer: Don’t feel bad if you score low on this, as I’m pretty sure I’m not close to achieving any of these things…

You can pick out a wine that’s not based on whatever is cheapest

But I mean, why would you want to? The second cheapest is going to taste just like the cheapest… right?

You start complaining about young people

Wow, something I can actually say I do *tick!* You know you’re an adult when you start a sentence with “You youngens…”

You’ve consolidated all your super funds

Wow good on you, you actual proper adult. If you’re anything like me, you’ll have worked a dozen random part-time jobs, each with a different super account. This usually results in super companies sending you angry letters, and yet it seems so far away to sort it out rn…

You consider midnight to be too late to go out

Your status as an adult is determined by many drinking factors; can you bounce back after a terrible hangover for round two? With the hangovers you get when you first start drinking, this is totally possible. An adult hangover, not so much. When you consider midnight a bit too late to head out, that’s when you know you’ve reached the adult (or grandpa/grandma) stage.

You meal prep

Why yes, that would be the healthier and cheaper alternative to buying daily lunches and ordering Thai when you’re feeling too lazy to cook dinner, but are we there yet? Not quite.

You’ve stopped asking your parents for money

You didn’t want it to get to this, but they’ve either told you that you can no longer ask for money, or it’s got to that stage where it’d be socially unacceptable to ask them to fund your lifestyle…

You no longer have a floordrobe/chairdrobe

But how else would we determine the clothes that are not dirty enough to wash but not clean enough to hang up??